Category Archives: Miscellaneous Musings

These blog posts include my random reflections about illness narratives, literature, and medicine.

September: Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Niki K; BY-SA.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month in America. Last year, President Obama declared this month to honor the cause of childhood cancer. Represented by an elegant gold ribbon, this is the 2nd September to share the stories of children with cancer, to recognize the research we do for these children, and look ahead to what more we must do.

In honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, I dedicate my  posts to this cause. I will reflect on memoirs and other narratives about childhood cancer that I have stumbled upon.

“This month, we pay tribute to the families, friends, professionals, and communities who lend their strength to children fighting pediatric cancer.  May their courage and commitment continue to move us toward new cures, healthier outcomes, and a brighter future for America’s youth” (Barack Obama, 2012).

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Tweeting and Grieving

140 characters has never sounded like enough to me.

But for Scott Simon, Twitter has become a concise space for reflection and reverence of his mother’s last hours in the ICU.

When I first heard about this spectacle, I was slightly appalled about the idea of invading the intimate and private space of the ICU with social media. But this article approached these tweets from a different perspective, suggesting instead that this embodies a more modern form of mourning. “The brevity and sequentiality of Twitter eerily evokes the reality of time, allowing us to witness an event” (O’Rourke).

As fascinating as this correlation between time and social media is, I believe that this statement is more eery to me than what it proposes. Perhaps it is my personal aversion from Twitter, but I disagree:  Twitter may give us a peek, but it does not enable our entire observation.

These tweets do not allow us to observe her death and its surroundings. We do not hear her breaths cease while the ICU continues to beep. We do not watch  stillness set in.

What I found to be unsettling was not the tweets themselves but rather the act of tweeting. It seems as though Twitter served as an outlet and a means of communication for Simon during his mother’s time in the ICU, a coping mechanism of sorts. I respect Simon’s choice to share his ICU experiences through Twitter. But even in 30 minutes after his mother’s death, Simon sent 3 tweets. Which means that he spent some time, maybe just a minute or so, looking at a screen and typing rather than being totally present with the loved ones around him.

It is inevitable that social media has become a space to share not only the joys and triumphs of life but also its trials and fumblings. But I wonder if this is the inherent trap to social media that we must recognize- it can become an obligation to others that draws us from the people physically around us. And with all the publicity that this happening has attracted, I was surprised to see how much of the attention has been centered around Scott Simon.

I guess I just wish that at the moment of her death, there had been more attention drawn to the person at the center of these tweets: his mother, Patricia Lyon Simon Newman.

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Filed under Literary Narratives, Miscellaneous Musings, Voice

A Week of Art

Mid-July in Ann Arbor means heat, humidity and sun, with a splash of sporadic thunderstorms. But it also means Art Fair, 4 days of celebrating and supporting the work of artists from around the nation.

In honor of the Ann Arbor Art Fair, I will be posting daily this week about art as an illness narrative. I love to think about how the practice of medicine is both a science and an art, and I stumbled upon this interesting article called Medicine: Science or Art? which teases out this idea.

“Medicine is both an art and a science. Both are interdependent and inseparable, just like two sides of a coin. The importance of the art of medicine is because we have to deal with a human being, his or her body, mind and soul. To be a good medical practitioner, one has to become a good artist with sufficient scientific knowledge. Technology covered with the layer of art alone can bring relief to the sick” (S.C. Panda 2006).

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A Google Doodle of Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis

In honor of Franz Kafka’s 130th birthday today, Google chose to illustrate one of Kafka’s most canonical works: The Metamorphosis. This classic novella was one of the first illness narratives that I read, telling the symbolic tale of the salesman Gregor whose illness transforms him into a “monstrous verminous bug” (1).

It’s interesting what a different feel this image has. The drab colors reflect the simplistic tone in the book. But the sense of entrapment and isolation conveyed in Kafka’s work is inverted here by a mobile insect in control of his limbs. And the apple, a weapon that injures Gregor, becomes raised on the pedestal-like letter L. There is no sense of the pain and torment that Gregor experiences from the illness in the novella.

This doodle has me thinking about images and their effects on literature. Since I saw this image after reading the book, it was a bit unsettling for me. But if I had seen this image prior, perhaps I would have left the text with a different sentiment. I wonder how book covers of illness narratives may sway perceptions of illness.

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A Series of Fortunate Events

Today, June 20th, has officially become significant to me. Here’s why:

1. IRB-MED approval

My thesis research, Chronicling Childhood Cancer, has officially received approval from the IRB-MED at the University of Michigan. I filed the application two months ago, and I’ve had my fingers crossed ever since. Now, I can’t wait to get started.

2. WordPress friends

Ever since my spontaneous article about ICU patient diaries was featured by WordPress on Freshly Pressed, I’ve been honored by how many people have visited my blog. And more than that, perused my blog. Engaged in this discourse. I’ve been excited to make a series of what I call “WordPress friends,” and I’ve been touched by how many people have chosen to follow my blog. Today, I have reached 200 followers. And for that, I thank you.

3.  Blog pride

The previous two highlights to my day have served as a catalyst in my decision to include this website in my email signature. Ok, I know that this may not be a big deal, but it means something to me. I’ve been toying over this idea for the past few weeks; I’ve come to realize just how integral this blog is to what I value, and I’m excited to claim it as part of my identity.

This is what I appreciate and celebrate. The big things and the little things.

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Filed under Chronicling Childhood Cancer: Illuminating the Illness Experience through Narrative, Miscellaneous Musings, Uncategorized

Reconstructing the Past with ICU Patient Diaries

Image courtesy of Antonio Litterio under a Creative Commons license: BY-SA.

Image courtesy of Antonio Litterio: BY-SA.

In permeating across disciplines, illness narrative research attains a level of potency, one that spans the globe. Dr. Ingrid Egerod, a nurse from the University of Copenhagen, spoke on Tuesday about “ICU patient diaries and follow up in Nordic countries.” She highlighted how narrative is being used by ICU nurses to enhance care in Nordic countries.

What is unique about ICU patients is that many spend weeks at a time unconscious, and later they are unable to remember the ICU. This dark vacuum of memory can be the cause of alarm for many patients, creating friction that sparks psychological discomfort for a patient in later years.

In the Nordic countries, nurses like Ingrid Egerod aim to fill this void by creating ICU patient diaries to capture the day-to-day lives of these patients. Unlike hospital charts, these records string together ICU events to create a coherent ICU experience. These diaries then become tools to aid patients in reconstructing their time in the ICU and creating their own illness narrative.

These have had an incredible impact on many members of the ICU scene, ranging from nurses to families to patients. This task seems to renew a sense of purpose for nurses and to help families to understand the progression of medical events through story. Egerod and others have demonstrated that patient diaries decrease the occurrence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in ICU patients. After patients are presented with their diaries, nurses follow-up with them  and use the diary as a guideline for conversation. These narrative activities are now being extended to include patients and families who are encouraged to use writing as a therapeutic form of expression.

It was fascinating to hear about this illness narrative research and to think about how narrative can adapt to and address the needs of the ICU unit and others. I also found it exciting to see that the idea of narrative is growing in other countries as well.

Here were some of the questions that I had, along with paraphrased answers provided by Dr. Egerod.

  • How are these ideas being received globally?

There appears to be enthusiasm for narrative and a growing appreciation for the patient experience, but especially in countries like the U.S. where nurses are often overwhelmed as it is, the obligation of ICU patient diaries can become a burden. This is definitely an obstacle, but it’s important to recognize the long-term benefits of this immediate investment; reducing psychological distress from the start can lead to less problems down the road.

  • Have there been efforts to publish these narratives so that other patients and health professionals can learn from these experiences?

Not so much, due to the intimacy of these narratives. Excerpts have been cited in journal articles, but these diaries have been primarily a resource for the immediate people involved in each narrative.

  • How do physicians play a role in the ICU patient diaries?

It seems as though physicians are more backstage for these efforts. Nurses have adopted the ICU patient diaries as something of their own, and doctors are less involved actively in the daily care.

I guess that’s what I’m trying to push again with my illness narrative research. I am glad to see that health professionals such as nurses are becoming more involved in narrative work, but I think that this is just as crucial for physicians. There may not be time for this level of engagement on each person’s part, but I believe that at least an awareness by all health professionals would make a difference.

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A Summer Reading List

A friend asked for suggestions for a booklist, so I figured I’d craft one here. This particular list focuses on historically contextualized texts and artistic representations.

Books for History of Medicine Enthusiasts:

1. The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer, Siddhartha Mukherjee

A comprehensive documentation of Cancer’s transformation over the years. Mukherjee skillfully weaves the narratives of patients, physicians, and researchers with the political, social, and scientific evolution of the disease.

2. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

A canonical work about the famous HeLa cells. Skloot digs deeper into the woman behind these immortal cervical cancer cells: Henrietta Lacks, who never knew that her cells were taken, grown, and sold without her consent. This book explores the racial inequities of health care in the US, and tells the story of the Lacks family and how they have been impacted by this experience.

3. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Anne Fadiman

Another canonical book in Medical Anthropology, one that provides a more cultural spin on health disparities. Fadiman tells the story of Lia Lee, a Hmong child in California, whose severe epilepsy illuminates the cultural clashes between her Hmong family and Western doctors.

4. Cutting for Stone, Abraham Verghese

A gripping piece of fiction that follows the story of the Stone family over the years. With a cultural backdrop of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and a focus on the art of surgery,the reader is immersed into a different realm of medicine. 

Books for Art of Medicine Enthusiasts:

5. Stitches, David Small

A potent graphic novel set in Detroit about how cancer physically stripped Small of his voice and its psychological effects. As a talented artist himself, Small uses imagery to fill in the spaces where language falls short.

6. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (literature and film)

These works coupled together provide a good portrayal of Jean-Dominique Bauby’s experience with full body paralysis. I suggest reading the book before viewing the film to approach the viewing experience with a more authentic perspective.

Happy reading!

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Beating Breast Cancer: Angelina Jolie’s Mastectomy

Angelina Jolie’s story of a mastectomy has been permeating through media. With a high genetic risk for breast cancer (>85%), Jolie made the conscious decision that she would not let herself fall victim to cancer. She chose to have a double mastectomy, ridding her body of potentially cancerous cells and replacing them with breast implantations.

Her Op-Ed piece in the New York Times is an interesting and well-written piece, and her decision to undertake a preventive mastectomy all the more admirable. But there was one thing that I wish she had explored more: why the need for the breast implantations following the mastectomy?

I ask this because in reading her piece, I was reminded of Audre Lorde’s The Cancer Journals (as I always am when I hear about breast cancer now). Lorde vehemently critiques the prosthetic breast, suggesting that it is a materialization of societal expectations for women rather than a functional physiological necessity.

Although I realize that Lorde’s strong sense of identity set apart her somewhat controversial critique of the prosthetic breast, it has made me question them more. I imagine that Jolie’s identity as an actress demands for her prosthetic breasts, but I wish she had spoken more about this second, equally important decision in her story. This decision becomes buried beneath the mastectomy, almost as though it was not a decision at all but rather an expected follow-up course of action.

In reading her story, I also think it’s interesting to consider the effects of illness on celebrities. As I opened the article, I was taken aback to realize that I actually recognized the name of the author. I wonder how an illness narrative is altered by a person’s identity as a celebrity and how this impacts its resonance with readers.

It seems like it was Jolie’s awareness of this difference that encouraged her to write this piece, to share her battle, to tell her story.

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Reflecting and Reframing: Becoming a .com site

The past month has been a flurry of wrapping up the semester and delving into the medical school application process, but I’ve also felt as though I was suspended within a strange state of liminality. I’ve been trying to define my research in the immediate future, but I’ve also been looking beyond that to try to figure out what I hope to accomplish with my passion for illness narratives and how far I can take it through my career in medicine.

I’ve come to realize that ultimately, my primary goal is to become a practicing clinical physician: currently, I hope to be a pediatric oncologist, but I recognize and accept the fact that all that may change in medical school. At the same time, the deeper I delve into the intersection of literature and medicine, the more aware I become of the illness narratives that surround our culture, the more I realize that this semester-long independent study barely scraped the surface. Although I sampled the genres of illness narrative theory, short story, novel, autobiography, memoir, poetry, art, dance, film, and more, there is just so much more for me to explore.

My interest in illness narratives is three-fold: learn, research, teach.

  1. LEARN: Studying illness narratives has helped me to better understand the experience of illness, and I believe that this exploration is vital to making me a better physician.
  2. RESEARCH: Making sense of existing illness narratives and conducting research to promote the generation of new ones has helped me to understand literature, to understand medicine, and to understand their intertwinement.
  3. TEACH: Exposure to illness narratives has entirely changed my understanding of medicine, and I believe that this awareness and perspective is crucial for prospective doctors, so I hope to share my knowledge about this field with others and to promote the general education of illness narratives.

Through all this, it’s become clear to me that no matter where I go for medical school, I am entirely keen on continuing to study illness narratives. And I’ve realized that I can share the process of learning, researching, and teaching in this field with others through the wonderful world-wide web. And so, my blog has abandoned the ‘.word press.’ in favor of simply ‘.com.’

My blog has always been for me, a somewhat personal space where I can reflect naturally, and I hope to preserve my original intent with an added twist. I never wanted to publicize my blog because I was writing only for me, but as I’ve watched people from around the world stumble across it, I’ve realized that there might be other illness narrative enthusiasts who just haven’t quite found the field yet. By turning my blog into a website (I still can’t believe the domain name was even available!), I hope that I can create a centralized space based on the familiarity that I’ve gained with the field.

Six months later, my journey is just beginning. And I’m excited to see how this narrative unfolds.

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“Exchanging War Stories”

Today at volunteering, two girls were doing Beads of Hope . I have always been intrigued by this activity, where children string beads that represent each monumental moment in the course of their treatment. From blood draws to surgeries, good days to going home days, these beads materialize the ups and downs of coping with cancer.

Although this activity is often done with one patient at a time, today there were two girls who had both endured many similar procedures. One was older, but the other was more outgoing and talkative. It was fascinating to observe how these hope beads served as a catalyst, encouraging these children to reflect on their past procedures and to tell their stories. Each child would try to outdo the other, emphasizing why their experiences were more admirable.

“It’s like they’re exchanging war stories,” noted one parent.

And it struck me just how right he was; that’s exactly what it was like. And I remembered that was how the study of illness narratives originated, since it was derived from the study of narratives of Holocaust survivors.

What is it about illness, especially those like cancer, that is comparable to war? I guess it is the struggle to hold on to life in the face of an enemy’s threat. But participation in war is a decision (I guess drafting suggests that’s not necessarily true), whereas illness like cancer can be an uncontrollable, unpredictable, coincidental occurrence. Battle and war imagery is a common metaphor for illness; what are the shortcomings and implications of such associations?

Beads of Hope is heart-wrenching for me to watch every time. The kids get excited as their necklaces grow longer and longer, and their challenges become more and more unfathomable. I know that these kids do not choose to face their circumstances, but nonetheless, their endurance never ceases to amaze and inspire me.

I am excited that my research will give these children an opportunity to share their war stories with others, to let their voice be heard.

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