Tag Archives: Child Life

[Cancer Knowledge Network] Talking to your Child about Death and More

This article is also available at the Cancer Knowledge Network.

“What is cancer?”

“Something you can die from,” an adolescent in remission once told me.

He later described his treatment to me, saying, “if it weren’t for the treatment, I would’ve been….” His voice trailed off as he swiped a finger across his neck and made a krrr sound. “It’s true,” he concluded, nodding.

This teen, in this moment, chose to express himself outside of words. He had been comfortable defining cancer explicitly in relation to “death” before, so why did his words falter now? I remember being taken aback by this symbolic beheading, an action fraught with connotations of cancer as both violent but also punitive. I wondered how many other children associated cancer with death, how many felt as though they were receiving a death sentence when diagnosed.

In a world where cancer is one of the leading causes of death for adults, it’s no wonder why many people instinctively associate cancer with dying. With cancer as a disease commonly in the spotlight in society—with Cancer Moonshot and other awareness efforts towards prevention, treatment, and cure ever-present in the media—I worry that many kids have fears of death earlier on that often go unaddressed. A fear of death can be held by any young person with cancer, even those with highly treatable forms.

With these high cure rates for some childhood cancers, I can understand why discussions about dying may not immediately enter into the picture. I feel like conversations about death and dying often happen late in the course of treatment, sometimes as they should. That being said, I think it’s important for children to feel comfortable voicing any concerns that they may have about what it means to have cancer as a young person.

This conversation illustrated to me the importance of understanding a child’s fears upon diagnosis and throughout the course of treatment. Another teen I spoke with defined cancer as “[s]omething… that… makes you special…” I asked her how, and she proceeded to explain “cause…I don’t know. Cause, you get to meet a lot of people with that and not a lot of people are able to do that.” To her, cancer was something that she valued. She appreciated the people that she was able to meet because of her cancer. Her perspective on cancer was less antagonistic and more thankful for the good that had come out of her diagnosis.

This, to me, is one of the reasons that palliative care and child life support early in a child’s cancer diagnosis can be especially instrumental. These specialists devote a great deal of attention to a patient’s understanding and ability to cope with a cancer diagnosis. Since cancer can mean something entirely different to each and every individual, taking the time to focus on a patient’s perspective on cancer can improve a young person’s quality of life and enhance healing.

Simply asking can make all the difference: What does having cancer mean to you? How do you feel about your cancer treatments? What worries you about the future? From open-ended discussions to coping activities, palliative care and child life specialists are equipped with tools to delve into the psychosocial complexities of a cancer diagnosis, be it a fear of death or a new perspective on life. But these are questions any provider can ask; anyone can express an interest in the many ways cancer permeates into one’s life. By asking, we can show youth that we care.

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Chronicling Childhood Cancer: About the Charities

All proceeds from the book Chronicling Childhood Cancer: A Collection of Personal Stories by Children and Teens with Cancer will support the following programs at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital. These programs are near and dear to me, and I believe that they represent the multiple dimensions that we must address within the cause of childhood cancer:

Fifty percent benefitting the Block Out Cancer campaign for pediatric cancer research at the University of Michigan.

“C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital is home to the largest cutting-edge pediatric research effort in the state of Michigan. We believe every child deserves a cure, and we have established the Center for Childhood Cancer to help us find different, better ways to cure childhood cancers.”

“Our teams are conducting basic science, translational research and clinical research with a goal of finding new cures and better ways to deliver current treatments. Our research focus spans from early diagnosis and cancer prevention to developing less toxic treatments and exploring expanding horizons in life-long cancer survivorship so we can understand and improve the long-term effects of cancer therapies.”

Fifty percent benefitting the Child and Family Life Program at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.

“The Child and Family Life team at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital is made up of trained professionals with expertise in helping reduce the stress and anxiety associated with hospitalization and illness.”

“Our Child and Family Life team members work together with doctors, nurses, social workers and others throughout the hospital to meet the emotional, developmental, and cultural needs of children and their families. Some of the special services we offer for patients and families include:

  • Procedure preparation medical play and support
  • Activity centers
  • Hospital school program
  • Art therapy
  • Music therapy”

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